Ruins

Get into a routine it's so hard to break
So I just lay in bed refuse to wake
Ruins of visions run through my head
Some days I truly wish I were dead

Run and keep running
Give and keep giving
Learn and keep learning
Work and keep working

Burnout, shutdown, get your order outta here
Mixed up, mined out, you hold no fear
Another draws near
Whispers in my ear
I cannot believe...

Ruins of visions run through my head
As I study the ceiling alone in my bed
Suddenly I realise what a fool I've been
Suddenly I think I've truly seen

Purpose brings responsibility
However I try I cannot let free
The commitments I made before
Will they clamour for evermore?

I feel a failure again
My troubles pour down like rain
A tear glistens in my eye
Something says 'not in your strength but Mine...'

Ruins of visions run through my head
I work them all through with a shake of my head
Not this time...

Quite a lot of this one was devised while studying the ceiling, it's based on an actual sequence of events. And yes, the fourth line is perfectly true, it wasn't that I wanted to commit suicide, it was just that I didn't see any point in me being here and heaven seemed so much nicer as a place to be.
Return to poetry index